The Stuffed Cat on my Dresser

So I’ve always identified as 100% heterosexual (basically Kinsey 0) all my life, and I still think that’s true, but I’m also sort of wondering if I just might be asexual, too. 

I’ve been sort of thinking about the possibility for a while, mostly because I think it’s a bit strange that I’m 18 and I’ve never been really sexually attracted to anyone, ever, and I can’t really see myself in a sexual relationship. By that I mean I’ve found people attractive, and it’s always been men, but it’s never really been on a sexual basis. Like, I’ve found them attractive in a “I want to know you better and be friends with you and maybe even in love,” but I’ve never, ever thought “I want to have sex with you.”

And I’ve always thought it was just that I hadn’t found the right person or whatever, but even if I imagine the perfect guy for me, I have no sexual desires for him. 

The whole idea of sex and everything associated with it has always sort of bored me or creeped me out. I’ve never had even a remotely sexual dream. Porn and smut just grosses me out.

I don’t know… what sparked this post was that I was thinking about it so I went on the AVEN website and when I read this page I had one of those “Wait… there are other people like me out there, too?” moments. That made me think about this possibility differently. 

Anyway, this is getting long, and I’m still not sure that that’s a label that fits me. I don’t really know all that much about it, and I don’t know what I’m going to feel later in life. I just don’t know. 

I’m just… recognizing it as a possibility?